I Am Very Sure

Tom Velarde
Golf Professional
Black Mesa Golf Club
La Mesilla, AZ

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Recently, our PGA section had our version of the Ryder Cup matches playing the Colorado PGA. This is something we look forward to as it happens every other year and this year was our turn to travel.

Having driven 6 hours to get to the site, I was playing no matter what. The 6 hours pass quickly once you start listening to Garth with a little Florida thrown in and only cruise control can keep all the fine troopers away. 

Upon arrival I checked into our hotel and found it to be very “Quaint”, actually it was old and somewhat run down. It did have great reviews in Trip Advisor so there goes their credibility with me. My issue was after hanging my cloths, yes, my bride has trained me well, I checked out the room and found no toilet paper. Simple answer, I went to front desk and asked for some. The lady looked at me with question marks! I have seen this look in my bride’s eyes when I ask for something I am normally holding. “Did you check your room,” she asked?  “Yes I have,” I answered, “and did not see or find any”. Did you check everywhere? We have a dispenser, which is designed to allow the paper to spin on a spindle so you can access the toilet paper. I sighed and informed her that I was very familiar with toilet paper and how it works and I was equally amazed by the modern method of dispensation. “Can I just have another roll please?” After she ran a credit check and background research, I happily found out I did qualify for more and was given a brand new roll. How is my day starting? 

My next surprise came at dinner. This, to me, showed the difference between being a senior and traveling with the younger set. All of our team sat together, had a cold beverage and did what guys do. Told stories about the dragons we had slain, and the lands we have conquered. We told about the grand quests and daring deeds of legend. Then pizza came and all the seniors said maybe it would be better to have salad, we are playing 36 holes tomorrow and this will amount to nothing more than intestinal calk. Sorry the young waitress said as she and our young unattached team members spoke some language I am unacquainted with. I looked at the double cheese pizza and the beverage to wash it down, uttered the prayer that I was glad I know how to operate the toilet paper magic wheel, asked if they could please pass down the single cheese and meat thin crust. 

Having the honor to be a team member and playing in what could amount to one of my last Taylor Cup matches made me a little melancholy but it really does serve as my goal to play in another one because as the song says, Stay forever Young. See you all on the first tee, I will now be the white hair playing the back tees.  

Tom Velarde is the Manager at Black Mesa Golf Club in Espanola, New Mexico, just northwest of Santa Fe. For more information or to reach Tom, email tvelarde@blackmesagolfclub.com.